Award Winning GENESIS SCHOOL OF MUSIC

➡️One of my best friends was extremely involved in their church, a great church – active in the community, growing, exciting. They had joined the team, loved it and they were serving all the time. The church was their community, their support group, their family.  After several years of serving, and great memories, one of the pastors got offended by something that was said, and it escalated to the point of asking my friend to take a break from serving. I do not know all the details, but they did take a break – they were hurt, but from what I saw, they seemed to have the heart of Christ. However, I remember them saying that the day they stepped out of serving was the day they lost their community.  Pastors and leaders they called lifelong friends stopped responding to texts, never called, never checked on them; they completely moved on as if they had never existed. That’s horrible. If I only love you for what you can do for me, then I never really loved you – I only used you.  That’s like spiritual prostitution.  I don’t want a relationship, I only want your services.  That’s wrong…and some of you may be saying, “that’s me”.

There is no hurt like church hurt because churches and church leaders are supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus, yet they’re often the hands and feet of the enemy of Jesus. Just because someone calls themselves a follower of Christ does not mean that they even know Christ.  Remember what Jesus said, people will know that we are his followers by our love. 

I can put my name in this story, and so can many of you guys. So what are some practical steps we can take in dealing with church hurt? Here’s seven:

1. Go to God first.  Psalm 121:1 says, “I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”  David realized his help did not come from the hills, which were a symbol of strength and security. Instead, he said his help comes from the Lord.  Go to God first and let him be your counselor, shepherd, defender and your healer. 
2. Forgive, forgive, forgive.  In Matthew 6:12, Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive me, as I forgive others”.  It has to start there – I forgive others, because I’ve been forgiven – me, the one who’s also hurt others, offended others and used others.  Matthew 6:15 goes on to say, “If I do not forgive others, God will not forgive me.”  I don’t have a choice, I have to forgive. I do not have to agree, nor am I saying that what they did was OK. It wasn’t. It was wrong. But I have to release them to God.  I have to forgive. 
3. Go to them, and never to others.  Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother or sister sins against you, you are to go to them and point out their fault, just between the two of you.”  Only a small person goes to everyone else, instead of going straight to the offender. 
4. If needed, go up.  Matthew 18 goes on to say if a one-on-one session doesn’t go well, THEN go to others. However, when going to others, never go out, go up.  If you’re dealing with church hurt, going to others in the church isn’t counsel, it’s usually gossip. Always go to their authority; they’re the ones who can do something about the situation.  I can ask my friends to pray, but that’s it. 
5. Look to Jesus, not to people.  Let’s be careful not to put the face of our leaders on God.  Like I said earlier, just because someone calls themselves a Christian, does not mean that they even know Christ.  We’ve all seen many people leave the church because of church hurt – but that’s not who God is.  Colossians 1:15 says if you want to get a perfect picture of God, don’t look to others, look to Jesus. He is the perfect reflection of God.  
6. Encourage yourself in the Lord.  In I Samuel 30, we find the story of David – after he had killed Goliath, but before he was crowned king – when the bad guys had burned his city, captured his family, as well as the families of his men, and his closest friends were talking about killing him. That’s called a bad day.  But in verse 6, it says, “David encouraged himself in the Lord”.  There’s many times in our lives when there is no one to lean upon – no one seems to understand, including our friends and families – but, like David, in our weakness, we find strength in the Lord (2 Corinthians 12:8). 
7. Let it go.  Isaiah 43:18, one of my favorite scriptures, says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past”.  In the original language, it means, “do not give the past any thought at all, or try to understand what happened”.  That’s tough.  Here’s an idea:  a couple of weeks ago, I made a list of my church hurt “offenders”, as well as a list of those I felt like I offended, which was actually the longer list.  I took that list outside, prayed over it and burned it – for me, it was a prophetic memory that I could always go back to, forgetting the former things, and not dwelling on the past.  I encourage you to do something like that – whatever it takes – write the list, burn the list, bury the list, blow it up, whatever it takes.  I know it seems impossible, but you can move on.  Remember, according to Matthew 19:26, “…with God, ALL THINGS are possible.”

It’s in the Bible, and the Bible is always right! 

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