➡️I KNOW, I KNOW—it’s not nice to call anyone a jerk. I realize that all of us can have jerky tendencies. Yes, all of us.  However, for the sake of many people who are in rough situations in their churches, we have to face the fact that sometimes even our pastors and leaders can be … well, you know what I mean.  This post actually comes from an article that I wrote over ten years ago, and two different magazines published it — and it reached a lot of people who were in tough situations. 

Here’s nine simple principles taken from scripture to deal with jerky pastors:

1. Realize that all of us are broken.
None of us are perfect. None of us have made it. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). All of us. Let’s cut each other some slack.

2. We should deal with our own stuff first.
In Matthew 7:5, Jesus encouraged us to get rid of the plank in our own eye, then we can see clearly to remove the speck from our brothers eye. What is God trying to say to me? What are some of my own planks?

3. Even after we deal with our stuff, we still have to be honest about the faults in others.
Back to Matthew 7, our leaders may have specks in their eyes and many times those specks can be extremely “jerky.” I’ve had many awesome pastors and leaders, but I’ve also had a couple of really tough ones. After we do everything we can, it’s alright to admit that our leaders may have some issues. We can learn from King David, however. He never did raise his sword against his leader, King Saul, yet all throughout Psalms, he was very, very honest about “his enemy.” The truth was that King Saul was a jerk, yet David chose again and again to forgive. 

4. Forgive, forgive, and forgive again.
When Jesus was asked in Matthew 18, how many times we should forgive, what did he say? 70×7 times — yea … lots!  Even on the cross, Jesus forgave. I remember in one of my darkest moments in ministry, when I felt like I was being “crucified” by my pastor, God softly spoke to me: “like the Pharisees, they really have no clue know what they’re doing.” Just like Jesus, I had to forgive. I still do. We all do. If we look at the words of Jesus, it is always our turn to seek forgiveness … no matter where the fault lies.

5. Stay and pray.
Our greatest enemies are not our leaders…or anyone around us. It may seem like it at times, but it’s not. Ephesians 6:12 says, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  The enemy has a strange way of disguising himself as those close to us … even our spiritual leaders. In these moments, we never talk to others. We first go to God. He is our strength, our hope, our truth, our defense.

6. Go to them and not to others.
According to Matthew 18, if our brother or sister has sinned against us, we are to go to them alone. Period. If that doesn’t work, then we are to take the next steps. It’s so tough to keep our mouths shut, but God will honor his word.

7. It may be time to shake the dust from our feet and move on.
According to Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Sometimes we do all that we can do, and still there is no peace. It may be best to stay silent and move on. No hard feelings, but it’s time to go.

8. Never, never, never take revenge.
Even if you’re right, there’s a price to revenge that none of us can afford. Forgive and leave the results with God (Romans 12:19).

9. No matter what, God still has a plan for our lives.
God is always with us, he is always for us, and he always has a plan. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11

Always remember, when dealing with others — especially jerks — go to the Bible —  it’s the Word of God — and the Bible is always right!

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